For some it is a wonderful thing to celebrate Birthdays. The attention, the well wishes, the gifts, lunches or dinners with family and friends or that special loved one. For others it is not considered a special day and life just goes on as normal.
Fifteen years ago my husband and I celebrated what was to become our last birthday together. We celebrated one before and one after Valentines Day, giving us a week of celebrations. When I look at old pictures I noticed that the last cake I bought for him was the same as the first cake I got. White icing with pink flowers and trim,; he loved the color pink.
Our celebration included dinners, exchanging gifts, chocolate and a Saturday night movie “Message in a Bottle”. It was a love story and a real tear jerker from the start. Kevin Costner’s character, Garret, is a widower who eventually falls in love with a reporter from Chicago, Theresa, played by Robin Wright Penn. He decides that he is willing to take a chance at love again and stops making grieving for his deceased wife, the center of his existence and all consuming reason for living. Throughout the movie, Garret is restoring his sail boat which he sails to Chicago with the intention of winning over his new love, Theresa. Along the way, he rescues another family in distress during a sever storm and dies in the process of saving them.
Before he sailed, he wrote his deceased wife Catherine, played by Susan Brightbill, a letter telling her that he thought by mourning her he felt he was keeping her alive. But he realized that was no way to live and he knew how lucky he was to have had the opportunity to have two loves in his life and that he was ready to pursue Theresa in Chicago.
We often get stuck in pain and left to our devices, may never fully come out. In the movie, Garret had his father, Dodge, played by Paul Newman, challenge him to choose life. Others are not that fortunate to have some one so straight forward taking a stand for their well being and happiness.
Grief has a long shelve life and no expiration date, but the sooner we can heal our broken heart, the sooner we can fully play in life again and appreciate all its players and participants.
From my own experience of isolation and friends not knowing what to say, as a Grief Coach, my objective is to be the person who stands for well being and happiness to those who are living with great loss, to restore energy and a passion for life and in some cases, a return to spirituality.
By: Diane Pratt, owner of Phoenix4LifeCoaching
“Message in a Bottle” 1999 Romantic- Drama directed by Luis Mendoki based on the Novel by Nicholas Sparks.